Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Jump then Fall

                                                     another day, another journal entry

i am currently following 's Bible study on wisdom. this entry corresponds with the assigned scripture passage for today, but the material in this response is my own.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

I'm not great at handing things over. As an aspiring businesswoman, I'm trying to train myself in the art of delegation; but instead of feeling relief when I hand a task over to competent teammate or coworker, I often feel more like I'm handing over a precious child. My precious child.

It will be faster if I do it myself. It's easier for me to do it. I don't want to inconvenience anyone. That's what I tell myself. But what my reluctance is actually communicating is, I can do this better.

I'm learning every day how to accept help from the hands that reach out to guide and walk with me as I grow in my education and career path. The problem? When my let me handle this tendencies leak over into other areas of my life.

Control is comfortable. Control feels safe. Control is also an illusion.

There is no such thing as control. As mortal humans, here are too many factors outside of our reach for us to even pretend to be in control of life's situations. However, I continue to delude myself by clinging to the imaginary jurisdiction that I believe lets me direct exactly how my life will play out.

When I choose control over God's prompting and direction (which often involves a lot of unknowns and good dose of blind faith), I am essentially saying I can do this better.

In her blog post The Trust Fall, Lyli Dunbar compares Proverbs 3:5 to a summer camp game that involves falling blindly backward from a ladder into the hands of waiting friends. The safety net formed by teammate's arms is the only thing that keeps the blindfolded person from falling straight to the ground. There is no room in the situation for a 'half fall'. You can't keep one foot on the ladder and let the rest of your body fall backward.

That's how trusting God works. You can't trust in Him with 'all your heart'...and still cling to shreds of the mirage called control. You have to jump with both feet. It's impossible to lean on your own understanding while also leaning fully into the arms of God.

Ready for some hard truth? Your 'own understanding' will let you down every time. As Proverbs 2:6 says, "For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes understanding." All wisdom comes from the Lord. Without Him, it's only a matter of time until the ladder we've built from our 'own understanding' falls - and sends us tumbling to the ground.

I don't know about you, but I would rather jump into the arms waiting to catch me than wait for the fragile structure I've built to fall away.

Sometimes we're afraid to jump and leave behind the plans we've built. Sometimes, we still find ourselves saying I can do this better.  This comes from the fear that God's plan won't take us where we want to end up.

I can't promise you that everything will go the way you've planned if you just take that jump. But I can promise you that when you trust the Lord with ALL your heart, He will lead you in the way that will accomplish His holy purpose and fulfill the desires of your heart. Jumping is scary...but it's a lot less scary than clinging to that rickety ladder.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart...and He will make straight your paths."


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